Why Great Leaders Welcome Pushback

November 9, 2025 by Mike Manazir – (4-5 minutes)

How a Boss Who Valued Disagreement Made Me Better

Push Back

The first time I wondered if I’d ever measure up as a fighter pilot was watching Tom “Killer” Kilcline fly. Killer had the piercing gray eyes of the “steely-eyed fighter pilot,” and I caught myself thinking, How do I turn my brown eyes gray?

Decades later, that same Killer—now Vice Admiral Kilcline—became my boss. And that’s when I learned one of the most powerful lessons of my career: respectful pushback builds trust, not tension.

The Lesson of the Gray Eyes

I first met Tom in 1981 when I was stashed at VF-126 waiting for flight training. He was an adversary pilot flying the nimble A-4 Skyhawk against our F-14s. His skill was legendary—“good hands,” we called it. I flew in his backseat whenever I could, trying to absorb everything.

Years later, after my own rise through the ranks, Tom was again in my orbit—this time as Commander, Carrier Air Wing 14 (CAG), and my direct superior when I commanded VF-31. Seventeen years separated those Miramar flights from this moment in the office. Tom was now the senior officer handing me my fitness report, the document that determines whether you advance or stall out.

I braced myself. I’d spent the entire tour pushing back on him—questioning, debating, sometimes sharply disagreeing. It wasn’t rebellion. I trusted him. But I also believed my role was to tell him what I saw, even if it contradicted what he wanted to hear.

Tom would listen, pause, then say, “Okay, we’re done here.” That was my cue: “Aye aye, CAG.” I’d go execute the plan—fully, loyally, with better results than I expected.

When I saw that he’d ranked me #1 among nine commanding officers, I was stunned! “CAG, I don’t deserve this. I kept pushing back.” He smiled. “That’s why you got it. You pushed until I made the call. Then you carried it out without question. That’s what loyalty looks like.”

Positive Pushback

Tom explained what many leaders miss: disagreement isn’t disloyalty. It’s input—data that sharpens decisions. The key is what happens next. Once the decision is made, the team executes it together. No grumbling. No backroom dissent. The unity comes after the debate, not before.

This culture of open disagreement created stronger teams. We surfaced blind spots, made better calls, and built deeper trust. Everyone felt heard. Everyone owned the mission. Contrast that with authoritarian cultures where pushback is punished. Leaders become isolated, teams grow fearful, and bad decisions multiply. Dissent doesn’t disappear—it just goes underground, corroding morale from within.

The healthiest commands I’ve seen, military or corporate, operate like Tom taught me: closed-door candor, open-door unity.

Leadership Lesson: Respectful Pushback Is Healthy

Invite honest opinions. Say, “Tell me what I’m missing.” It signals strength, not weakness.
Listen fully. Don’t defend. Don’t interrupt. The best ideas often start as disagreements.
Decide and align. Once the call is made, expect—and model—complete follow-through.
Coach humility. If pushback crosses into insubordination, correct it privately but kindly.
Admit your misses. When your team was right and you weren’t, say so. It builds credibility that can’t be faked.

As leaders, our confidence is tested not when we give orders, but when we invite challenge. The ability to absorb pushback without insecurity is a mark of maturity—and humility. You can’t see your blind spots unless someone else points them out. Let them. Then lead with clarity and conviction.

Because the strongest teams don’t echo—they elevate.

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P.S.

If this message stirred something in you—share it. Forward it to a friend, colleague, or your leadership team. Better yet—let’s talk.

Let’s raise up a generation of leaders who know how to Lead to Win.

Mike Manazir
Bestselling Author | Navy Admiral | Fighter Pilot | Leadership Coach

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