October 11th, 2026 by Mike Manazir – (4-5 minutes)

How do successful leaders build and maintain relationships?

Before I ever wore a Navy uniform, a man named Chuck Clopton helped change the direction of my life. I was a young candidate trying to earn an appointment to the United States Naval Academy. My father knew Chuck through the local Naval Academy alumni association in Southern California and introduced us.

Chuck was a Naval Academy Blue & Gold Officer who helped prospective candidates navigate the admissions process. He didn’t just give me advice. He got involved. I had been stuck and Chuck helped move my nomination package forward. He even arranged an interview with a retired one-star admiral who happened to be traveling through Southern California.

So there I was, a kid hoping to get into Annapolis, sitting down for lunch with a retired admiral at a Howard Johnson’s alongside Interstate 5 in Mission Viejo, California. I was very nervous and wanted very badly to leave a good impression. I wanted to demonstrate to that Admiral that I deserved his endorsement. The admiral ultimately wrote me a nice recommendation letter. Chuck told me that letter had a significant impact on my selection to the Naval Academy.

Chuck had no obligation to do any of this. He saw a young man trying to take the next step and decided to help. And the relationship didn’t end when I received my appointment.

Fast-forward about a decade. It was 1986. I was back aboard USS Carl Vinson for my second tour, flying F-14 Tomcats. Chuck, a Lieutenant Commander in the U.S. Naval Reserve and a lawyer, was serving as a JAG officer on the Carrier Group Commander’s staff.

Now I was seeing the guy who helped me get into the Naval Academy every couple of days on an aircraft carrier. I had accomplished what he saw in me a decade earlier. Over the years, Chuck gave me something even more valuable than a recommendation letter. He gave me his wisdom. He became a mentor. He remains a dear friend.

I’ve thought a lot about relationships like that throughout my life because leadership is built on them. You can have the title. You can have authority. You can issue orders, set goals, build strategy, and manage a budget.

But influence? Influence comes from relationships. And relationships take work. They don’t survive because you once worked together, served on the same ship, or exchanged business cards at a conference. They survive because you keep walking the path together.

There is an old line from Ralph Waldo Emerson that I love:

“Go often to the house of thy friend, for weeds choke the unused path.”

Relationships have to be tended. Call somebody on a whim. Even when you don’t need anything. Listen. Remember what matters to them. Celebrate their success. Show up when life gets hard. Tell them the truth when the truth is uncomfortable. Forgive. And ask for forgiveness when you’re the one who got it wrong.

Most importantly, invest in people before you know whether they can ever do anything for you. Chuck didn’t know where my career would go when he helped that young Naval Academy candidate. There was no transaction. There was a relationship.

That’s an important distinction for leaders.

Networking asks, “Who can help me?”

Relationships ask, “How can I help you?”

Great leaders don’t collect people. They know people. They know their stories, strengths, hopes, and challenges. They build trust over time. And when pressure comes—and it always comes—those relationships matter.

People who trust you will tell you the truth. They will challenge you. They will stay in the fight with you. And they will give you something positional authority can never command: their discretionary effort.

Some of the most important moments of my life happened because another person took the time to invest in me. My responsibility is to do the same for somebody else. So is yours.

Lead to Win Principle

Relationships create influence, and influence creates followership. Invest in people before you need them, stay connected when you don’t need anything, and don’t let the path between you become overgrown.

The Question

Who helped you become the leader you are today—and when was the last time you reached out to them?

Next Week: We continue our How to Win the Hearts of Your People series with communicating effectively. Relationships may open the door, but communication keeps the connection alive.

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• Begin leading from the heart: Order Learn How to Lead to Win | The Manazir Maxims | Leadership Study Guide for Manazir Maxims
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Let’s lead to win together,

Mike Manazir
Retired Navy Rear Admiral | Bestselling Author | Keynote Speaker | Executive Coach